Robert Pattinson #2 in Vampire Craze: Analysis of the hottest male vampires

new_moon-386-edit-sxga

Brace yourselves.

This may come as a complete shock.

Vampires are sort of, what’s the word, in right now. I mean, if you haven’t been living in Antarctica this past year, you may have noticed a very obvious trend. Remember way back in the day when every guy wanted to be Neo from The Matrix because he had that cool trench coat and could do sweet flips? Those days are long gone. Today it’s all about fangs and an aversion to sunlight. Goth is back. Pale is the new tan.

And really, we shouldn’t be all that surprised. Vampires are hot. They don’t age. They look good in black. Some of them have inner-turmoil issues. Granted, they drink blood and that’s kind of gross, but so are hot dogs and most of us love those. Who are we to judge?

More after the cut!


Let’s embrace this trend. Instead of rolling our eyes at the plethora of Twilight memorabilia lining the walls of every store, let’s take a moment and analyze why there is so much Twilight memorabilia lining the walls of every store. And I’m not talking about dissecting the literary merits of the books (because what would I write about after the first paragraph?). Instead, I want to focus purely on sex appeal (you know, what’s important). Costume and make-up designers work hard to create these gorgeous male bloodsuckers, and it’s time to give them credit where credit is due. Here’s a countdown of the greatest, most stunning, most please-bite-me-now creatures of the night ever. I’ll tell you what works, what doesn’t work, and why I want – no, need – to be alone in a dark alley with them.

2. Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen in Twilight

Oh, Edward Cullen. Your penchant for stalking teenage girls and attending high school for all of eternity aside (dude, why ?), you are one good looking bloodsucker. Sure, the stirrings of your hotness were there when you played Cedric Diggory back at Hogwarts (R.I.P. friend), but I don’t think any of us really appreciated the true beauty that is you until you stepped into the Forks cafeteria in Twilight. What I like about Robert Pattinson’s appearance for this role (besides the obvious ‘please-take-me-now’ facet) is that he actually looks like a vampire. Unlike other high school vampire shows (I’m thinking of you, Vampire Diaries ), there is something simply too pretty about Edward Cullen. I mean, there is just no way somebody who looks like him is human. He has to be something more. Perhaps it’s the golden, color-changing eyes, or the perfectly placed hair, or maybe the very pale skin and impossibly red lips, but it only takes one look to know that this guy is not a guy at all. He can’t be. To conclude, I guess it’s not at all surprising that Bella falls in love with him in about 2.5 seconds (give or take). I mean, wouldn’t you?

See the rest here.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 912 other followers